Crying in the Purple Rain

“Little Red Corvette” was the first 45 I ever bought. It got it as an Easter gift. Well, I got it because I found a plastic egg with a little slip of paper inside that said “45 of your choice.” Yes. My mother still had me hunting Easter eggs at 14. Even at 16! So…

The 5 Love & Apology Languages

Several years ago, I read a wonderful book called The 5 Love Languages.* It taught me how I expressed and received love, as well as how my husband expressed and received love. Once we knew each other’s love language, we could more completely express our love for the other. Sadly, of course, trauma and loss screamed…

I Forgot to Live

I wrote this poem in Wordsworth’s Garden only a day after going to the hospital due to stress at work and loss of a support structure. Being out in the Lake District reminded me how much I had missed while working so much, which this week felt all for naught.

Lessons in Letting Go

Upon waking this morning, I slid my hand across my stomach. While I had slept, my PJs had shifted to expose some bare skin. An image came to mind. A lover’s gentle caress across my body while pulling me closer. A few tears soon followed as I realized: I hadn’t been touched tenderly by a lover in…

The Moment You Smiled

The moment you smiled The moment you laughed The moment your sparkling eyes fixed on me The moment you spoke The moment you sighed That was the moment my soul was set free The curve of your neck The shape of your lips The way that you tilt your head when you speak The tone of…

A Meaningful Valentine’s Day

Today was a good day. A little sad, perhaps, but good. Of course it’s Valentine’s Day, which is difficult for most single or heartbroken people, but it’s also two other things for me: It’s Buster’s birthday, and I miss him so much. It’s the day my husband proposed 17 years ago in 1999. After the great…

Stepping Out of Hell

Yesterday was an important day. February 12th. That date has haunted me for the past four years. I’d see it everywhere, and I’d remember. Even if I hadn’t thought of it for quite some time, I’d remember when I’d look at my watch at 2:12. When my coworker from extension 212 would forward a call,…

The Loneliest Christmas

This morning I made myself a cup of coffee and warmed a powder sugar-topped pastry after I had fed the cat I’m sitting. The two of us enjoyed our Christmas breakfast in silence, other than the crackling fire (complete with holiday tunes) playing from my iPad Mini 2, compliments of Netflix. Once we finished our breakfast….

Major Changes in the Autumn of Life

The past five years have been the most difficult of my life. The person I was in 2010 is dead, but it was a slow, agonizing death brought about by deceptions, betrayals, and even sexual assault. Just when I thought I couldn’t lose anymore, after having lost my community, my faith, my job, my home,…

London Travel Tips & Helpful Apps

London is expensive. I mean, really expensive. The prices exceed that of New York City and San Francisco for living arrangements. The exchange rate makes it even more pricey for Americans. Even the competitively priced AirBnB (app) has rates at £120/night, which equals close to $200 in Zone 1. Plus, space is extremely limited in…